To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
