I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
