and i looked up. we had an audience...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The air taste purple.
Randomize
