i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
