Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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