So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
