will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
