Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
