He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
