After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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