I got chris browned last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
