did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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