I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize