Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize