it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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