He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
