margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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