Dual....:-)
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
