Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
