is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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