i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
