My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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