TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize