you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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