It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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