508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
