I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
