I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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