I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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