i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize