i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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