i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
