In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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