Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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