Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
