Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
