Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
