captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize