This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
