I am puke
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
