So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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