By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
