There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
