i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
