omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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