The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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