i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
