# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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