The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
