He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
