She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
