Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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