Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
