so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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