This house was built for laser tag.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
