What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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