I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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