Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
