I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
