One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
