I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
