I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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