So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
